HIATUS FOR NOW a stupid tale of Ho-Oh and Lugia
by GuardMewtwo
Summary: Lugia, Ho-Oh and Suicune. Three legendaries who should be doing their usual work. However, no one wants to be bored, so they go on an adventure (in an insane way). Follow them as they fight Team Plasma, two new trainers, the Unova army and make new friends, going on the most crazy adventure in Unova you could ever imagine. This is a comedy special by GuardMewtwo. On hiatus for now.
1. Chapter 1

**IN A TIME**

 **WHERE A GUY WAS BORED**

 **HE DECIDED**

to make this.

 _A Stupid FAQ_

[So, what is this?]

It's just something I wanted to do for some time. So, I'd only use your comments to make an entire pokémon fanfic, and let's see if it will work.

[How do I leave the comment?]

PM or review. The choice is yours.

[What is this called?]

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Pokémon is a copyright of Nintendo, Game Freak and The Pokémon Company._

 _A stupid tale of Ho-Oh and Lugia_

[Who starts?]

Of course, me, I need to do something right?

[Start this already.]

Sorry.

A Stupid Tale of Ho-Oh and Lugia

It was a really bad day at the Whirl Islands. It was raining, thunderstorms were seen everywhere, and it was overall, a bad day.

'FUCK THIS!' shouted Lugia loudly. He slept, and when he flapped his wings this shit came upon the entire Johto region. 'WHYYY!' he shouted more loudly, causing Ho-Oh to come fly by.

'What is wrong, my friend,' Ho-Oh said. 'I FLAPPED MY WINGS, AND THIS DAMN SHIT CAME UPON THE FUCKING REGION!' came the reply. 'Heyy, calm down. Calm down, Lugia. Try and use Calm Mind, OK?'

'AHH YES!' Lugia finally calmed down after 20 Calm Minds. 'So, Ho-Oh can you explain why this storm is here, and how can I stop it?' Lugia said.

'Oh, you caused the storm because you flapped your wings!' Ho-Oh said, which was perfectly normal for Lugia, who had been watching his TV for days, and a slight twitch of his wings caused the storm.

'And now, the people are going to the towers!' shouted Lugia as they raced towards the towers. 'WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT IT?' asked Ho-Oh.

 **What comes next? You decide!**

 **PM or review to leave your suggestion on what happens next.  
Guard has no idea.**

 **NEXT CHAPTER IN 24 hrs.**


	2. Chapter 2

**OK. So according to the Terms and Regulations, you can ONLY PM or leave on the Forums for suggestions. Thanks to ZadArchie for pointing out this.**

 **If no one suggests, guess I'll have to do that myself.**

 _Chapter 2_

'Where are we even going,' said Ho-Oh as he and Lugia continued to go to the towers. 'Hi,' said Suicune, who mysteriously popped out of the water, giving the tower duo a jumpscare.

'AHHHHH!' shouted Lugia and Ho-Oh, who were both greatly frightened by the jumpscare. 'What the hell are you doing here, Suicune?' asked Ho-Oh

'Oh, having a holiday, ha,' came the reply. 'Aren't you supposed to clean water?' asked Lugia. 'I found a water purifier, now I can just take this damn thing and take it across the world. I'm lazy.'

'So, why did you scare us?' asked Ho-Oh in response. 'Look, I can talk with my mouth closed,' said Suicune. 'That's called "Telepathy", you fool!' shouted Lugia.

'No, it's real!' Suicune made his voice go insane, and his mouth was still closed. 'I guess that's a Hollywood trick,' said Lugia. 'Oh yeah,' said Suicune, 'there was a lott of guns and tanks when I came here. Good luck avoiding those big guys.'

'OH NO!' said Ho-Oh and Lugia since it was night now. 'How are we supposed to avoid those insane tanks(and soldiers)!' 'I don't know. I dug my way here!' Suicune pointed to the massive little hole he had dug.

'Oh yeah, I got blasted a few times by what they call, "landmines".' Suicune said, as another army prepared itself. 'What the hell!' shouted Lugia. Why would two armies gather together?

'Oh, they are preparing for what they call "war". Anyways, I'm heading off to Unova. If you want to come, just go behind me.' Suicune said as both armies started to fight each other.

'Woooof,' Suicune said as he sprung away. 'Let's follow him,' said Lugia as they both flew high to follow Suicune. 'Wait, this isn't fun,' said Suicune.

Suicune ran straight into the center, then blasted gallons of water onto both sides' battleships. 'Eat my WATER!' Suicune shouted, continuing to blast the ocean's water in a 360-degree area, pouring water onto all the ships.

After a few hours of blasting and tornadoes, which Lugia had joined in (he knew how to control water, after all), the ships begun to sink and Suicune got really happy, as he didn't like intruders.

'Gets what you deserve, next time don't interrupt me on my holiday, or…' Suicune shouted. 'Har har,' said Lugia as Suicune continued to lead the way to Unova.

'Hey, Suicune, we're about to crash into that CONTAINER SHIP!' shouted Ho-Oh as Suicune dashed forward at incredible speeds.

 _Can't think more._

 _PM or post your suggestions on my Forums._

 _I will, er just…_

 _Nevermind, tomorrow is Legend day. Next update on Thursday._

 _kthxbye_


	3. Chapter 3

_**If no one cares about this story, I will end it really fast.**_

 _Chapter 3_

Across the great Kanto-Hoenn Pokémon Sea Expressway, the group started to head for Unova. However, you might ask why they were going on the Kanto-Hoenn Pokémon Sea Expressway. The reason is very simple.

It is because, if you were to be moving out of Kanto by sea and heading to the other regions, you can either walk there, fly there or take a boat. And if you take a boat, the Kanto-Hoenn Pokémon Sea Expressway would be the fastest, due to it being reserved for pokémon and boats.

Suicune leaped gracefully, which he probably didn't care about, dipping his mouth into water for a few drinks sometimes. Kyogre did the pokémon Departures and Arrivals at Slateport Entrance of the KHPSE.

'Hi, Kyogre,' Suicune said as he presented his pokémon passport to the Sea Basin pokémon. 'Hi, I guess you're accepted. Having a trip with Ho-Oh and Lugia there to Unova, right?' asked Kyogre, as he checked the Aurora Pokémon's passport.

 _Note: You might be wondering, again why pokémon have passports. Technically, they ARE living creatures and they live in the regions. So, if they wanted to go to another region, they had to depart from their region and arrive. The system is identical to the humans, except pokémon can go much faster._

'Off you three go to Unova,' Kyogre said, after checking the passports, 'Oh, Rayquaza told me the Sky Expressways are pretty quiet today, I guess it'll be faster,'

'Well, I'll go there, bye,' Suicune said as the group moved on to the Sky Expressway entrance, Sky Pillar. 'Wow, this region is so big!' exclaimed Ho-Oh as he looked over the city of Sootopolis, and Suicune told everyone they were arriving at Sky Pillar.

The Sky Expressway was made for pokémon only by pokémon themselves. It was a free expressway, and it connected routes pretty fast.

'Hey, it looks like some weird thing is coming down!' Ho-Oh said as he looked upon a weird creature, who looked like nothing but just simply…

Weird.

'What do you want to do with us?' Ho-Oh asked, with no response.

'fuck, another weird thing from the highways.' Suicune said.

 _Oh. It's the END._

 **Tomorrow's episode: The group fights the thing!**

 **I know it isn't this funny anymore, but I'm sure that I'll add in more parts for you guys to laugh at.**

 **Since I didn't make any funny parts in this chapter (I guess), let's do a bad fanfiction compliation.**

 _This is like, the worst fanfiction ever. Accept it._

 _aSh getS a lEgenDary(excerpt)_

oH my goD, said the eleven year olded boy, who has raven hair. It's hooh! Oh my god oh mky god! Its actuly Ho-Oh!

He was a twanier fom pallet town, and it waz is first day of being a pokeman trainer!

Andnow, jhe saw the legendary hooh!

 _Still not convinced? Oh wow._


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

'shit,' said Lugia as the thing started to descend to them.

'What in the fucking hell are you doing here, Rayquaza?' asked Ho-Oh. 'FigHt me cuNt,' Rayquaza said as he launched a Dragon Ascent at Suicune.

'Boo-hoo, that was very unnecessary to hit me with such a powerful attack. Here, have a Blizzard, sucker,' Suicune said as he winded up winds of snow onto Rayquaza.

Ever wondered why Ice-type attacks do super effective damage at Dragon types? The answer is simple, it…

'I CAN'T SEE! I'M GOING TO CRASHHHH!' Rayquaza shouted as he started to crash down onto the floor, and looking down at the ground below, there seemed to be a Rayquaza-shaped crater and some people coming.

'Call the pokémon service ambulance!' One of the people shouted at the top of their lungs, brining attention to everyone near the crater.

'Har har, get dunked on, Rayquaza, that's what you get for blowing up people's houses randomly every day,' Suicune shouted loudly. 'He actually does that?' Ho-Oh asked in response. 'Yea, you're right.' Suicune answered.

'sniffa sniffa sniff, get on with your stupid route already, Suicune,' Lugia said in complain. 'Alrighty,' Suicune said as he boosted off into the distances of Unova.

At Unova's Nuvema Town, the highway had an exit, so the three legendaries decided to alight the highway there. Suicune played ear rape alongside, and when questioned, he just answered 'it was good for me.'

At the town, a new pokémon trainer was supposed to begin his pokémon journey tomorrow.

 **End**

 **What will happen to our legendaries and our trainer friend? Will the professor find out that the legendaries are here? Probably no, because she works too hard in her lab, XD.**

 **Next release of chapter on Wednesday.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

'ITZ MY FIRST DAY BEIN A POKÉMON TRWAINER!' An almost will-be a pokémon trainer woke up and shouted. TEIM FOR ME TO KGET MY FIRST POKEMAN!'

'IAWJIOEJOIJ,' the trainer said as he ran to the Professor Juniper's Lab. 'Me here get me first pokemun,' he said as he arrived at the lab.

'Hello, Black. Choose a pokémon!' the professor said as she took three pokéballs out. 'Hey!' said a trainer called White. She was also having her first day of being a trainer.

"2fast4u," Suicune telepathically said as he smashed through the roof and took the pokéballs. 'FUCK!' said White as she started to chase Suicune, with no knowledge of how powerful legendary pokémon were.

'megivehase 2,' Black said as he started running towards the dog. 'OK, I'll study what that pokémon is!' Professor Juniper said as she took her motorbike.

'HO-OH! RAISE ME UP!' Suicune said in Pokélanguage as the phoenix came down and grabbed him up. 'Stealing pokémon is too easy,' Suicune said.

'We ain't Team Rocket,' Lugia said, 'We ought to return them someday to those poor trainers.' 'Yeah, we'll do it three days later,' said Suicune.

And when they were flying, Suicune activated a water shield, preventing the trio from even getting damage. 'Hey, that looks like a Team Rocket ship!' Lugia said as he pointed towards a zeppelin with a big red R on it.

'Drop the bombs!' a loud speaker said as hundreds of little bombs dropped from the zeppelin. 'Holy shit, this is insane. Let's blow it up, shall we to make fireworks?' asked Lugia as he dive-bombed into the ship.

'AGREED.' Ho-Oh and Suicune said as Ho-Oh started making fire burn in one of the ship's hydrogen containers.

 _Team Rocket Zeppelin Number Five_

'Mr. Giovanni, there has been a breach of fire in Hydrogen Container 1!' a Team Rocket Grunt shouted as he pointed towards the outbreak. 'STOP THE FIRE THEN, YOU FOOL!' Giovanni said as the grunt took out a fire extinguisher and soon more came trying to make the fire go out.

'Oh no, you don't,' said Lugia who plummeted gallons of water on top thus causing the airship to start crashing. 'CRASHING. BRACE, BRACE.' The emergency alarm was heard in the sky.

'lulz, we win,' Suicune said as the airship crashed.

'HEY! THAT'S THE POKÉMON WHO STOLE OUR POKÉMON!' White said as she pointed towards Suicune.

'FUCK!' said Ho-Oh.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

'OK, gotta run boys,' said Suicune as he jumped on the head of White, making the new pokémon trainer stay in an unconsciousness state immediately.

'itzthem!' shouted Black, pointing at Lugia who was pretty tired. _Shit, gotta go fast_ , Lugia thought as he launched up into the sky. 'CALL THE ARMY!' said Professor Juniper as stealing pokémon was a huge crime then.

So, the army begun to track the legendary trio, but since they were pokémon, they just got threw into pokémon jail, that's it.

Outside, a villainous team called Team Plasma was doing talks on stupid 'Pokémon Liberation'. Ho-Oh listened as they talked about how trainer's pokémon should be released, but at the end, they just took everyone's pokémon.

'HEY! Give our pokémon back!' a guy shouted as the Team Plasma Grunts came out from behind and stole all their pokémon.

 _That ain't liberation,_ Ho-Oh thought as the Team Plasma van pulled away. 'Actually, let's blow a hole here,' said Suicune as he started blasting gallons of water towards the wall, which couldn't stand the pressure and with a poof, the wall was gone, and the three escaped easily.

'Hey, Ghetsis. I see pokémon not liberated back at that stupid town! We have to *help* them!' said a grunt. 'OK, GO BACK!' Ghetsis shouted as the van went backwards.

'shit, they're coming back!' said Lugia who looked as the van started to close in.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

'OK, battle plans better be ready, or we going to get 'liberated,' said Ho-Oh as he took a M416 out, ready to fire at the Team Plasma guns.

Suicune took a railgun from the Legendary Armory made by the llama himself. 'READY… FIRE!' Suicune said as the gun fired itself, causing a destructive beam to blow the van in half.

'SHOO, DON'T YOU DARE FIRE AT TEAM PLASMA!' The grunts shouted as they shot magazines of bullets at the legendary trio. 'Not wounded, use snipers to snipe them off,' said Suicune as he took a sniper out and started to snipe the people inside the van.

'They're firing at us! Return fire!' the Plasma commander said as he released a ton of pokémon out to fight the legendaries.

'Well, we have to escape from this bloodshed, but how?' asked Suicune as he saw Reshiram up there, high in the skies. _ting,_ a little idea came in at light speed.

'Reshi! These people are calling you as dipshit!' Suicune said as Reshiram grew angry and started to dive-bomb the van. 'FITE ME! FAIR AND SQUARE!' Reshiram shouted as his anger burst out of his veins.

'Hooya!' said Lugia as he bombed the van with a grenade.

Finally, the van got burned by Reshiram and Ho-Oh's combined efforts to make a 5000-degree Celsius fire. The van burned down in seconds.

'That was pretty nice.' Suicune said as he looked at the burning van. 'I'LL BE BACC!' said Ghetsis as he ran away. 'Try to beat us, noob,' said Suicune as Lugia made a tornado and sucked Ghetsis up.

'Actually, it's time we actually fight these pokémon thieves,' said the head of the village, 'it's not fine to have crazy pokémon. CLOSE THE GATES!'

'OK, so we have to pay for our crimes?' asked Lugia.

'Yeah, I guess.' Ho-Oh said.

'What are we going to do?' said Suicune.

 _End_

 **Placing legendaries in a stupid adventure has never been that fun.**

 **And it seems that they get in trouble every time.**

 **Next chapter: Fighting against the local Unova army.  
P.S. I know this is starting to heat up.**


End file.
